Today I found myself walking into hospital, no known reason but to just ask for help.

The skin on the side of my cheeks and on my hands were raw, from the constant dragging of the little I have of nails along it.

Since I can remember I have always bitten my nails aggressively, but I have started to claw my face and hands not in need of attention but to release some of the pain I am feeling.

Maybe to punish myself in some way but the feeling becomes so intense I cant stop till I draw blood. It is an escape route for me.

I tried to ask for help but instead I found myself in the chapel, asking my mum to come and help me.

But just like every other time in my life when I felt I needed her most she wasn’t there.

Although I have never been religious sometimes I find Solis in the hope she may one day answer my calls.

Maybe I’m just lost searching for someone that just isn’t there?