Its all about the ‘Why’

Posted in My Depression by Amanda at 04:43 on 24th July 2008

I am a bit embarrassed at the moment as recently I have come across really needy with my partner, it’s been a rough couple of weeks for me and I’ve felt a bit all over the place.

We all have times like this but I know when I’m doing it and yet I still carry on, it’s like I have no control over myself. It all starts with me analysing everything he says to me, then I end up thinking; why would you say that?

Nothing he says or does is quite right, its really unfair of me.

Generally it is all about the - Why. Why don’t you ever buy me flowers anymore, why don’t you tell me you love me without me saying it first, why does it always feel like you have a better time with everyone but me. A continuous vicious cycle.

I have tried to talk to him about me feeling like this, when I do I end up getting defensive or just repeating myself over and over again. Although you can never be certain, I do think the bigger picture here is my own low self-esteem.

Sometimes when I am having a really good day I still feel unappreciated, it makes me really sad. In an ideal world we wouldn’t have to say anything, the other person would just know and give you that physical or mental reassurance needed.

Men are funny creatures and most of the time they are blissfully unaware of what is important to us and why it is.

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