Recently me and my partner have started arguing about moving out and what sort of place we want to live in, what we would need for the house.

I really don’t want to argue about these types of things and I want us moving out to be a good thing and not cause problems between us.

I have asked a couple of people about getting a house and did they find it stressful, did it cause arguments? I get the impression the general consensus is yes. But I don’t want this to become a negative thing for us I really don’t know what to do about this.

My partner says it’s me causing the problems due to the way I react to things, I don’t communicate with him properly. Obviously this leaves me feeling down and depressed and constantly questioning what I do and say.

I’m left thinking was he right when he said I caused this; Is it my depression or is it just the way I am?

He may be right and it could be me causing these problems but I feel it isn’t just one sided. It really frustrates me the way he doesn’t listen to what I say, like my opinions count for nothing unless he agrees with what I say.

I know I can be very opinionated and over react at times but it’s only because I care and I just want things to be perfect. Although this is something I am working on, I do want to be less uptight about things.

The more I think about the arguments we have had recently the more I think how silly they are, I need to be able to say what I feel though and not feel like I can’t out of fear for how he will react.

A lot of the time I find I am challenging myself to be better and deal with situations better, I just wish he would do the same too. I hate feeling like this is all about my journey, not because I want to share blame but he doesn’t seem to see his own flaws or how he may have fuelled the situation.

I feel that when we do have confrontation I am solely driven by emotion, I think this is because I get the impression he either doesn’t care what I think or just doesn’t respect me enough to listen.

A relationship in my mind is about two people who may not always agree but want to understand each other. You can’t have this without communication and being willing to listen and respect what each other thinks enough to listen.

I know that I love him and want to be able to communicate better with him but I do believe this takes both of us to work at it. People may say moving out is stressful but it doesn’t mean we have to accept that and follow the crowd.