Constantly hiding away from the world
When I find it hard to carry on and I am at my worst I find thinking of all the people I would let down by letting go, but sometimes I can be selfish and think that they don’t have the struggle I do and could never understand my pain. But at what point can I do this for me?
Could I or would I ever be able to just say I am living my life and fighting this illness for me and only me.
The days are sometimes endless and I struggle to hide my face beneath the quilt, and the constant reminder of what I am facing is unbearable. So I try to hide away and sleep through my lowest thoughts and feelings, as I fear someday I may act on them.
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June 4th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I also had the experience.
After entering college, i do not contact any senior school classmates, beacuse i suffered from anxiey and depression.
After years of therapy, i was recovered on the whole last year. However,i also did not want to contact my friends, i cannot face the reality.
Since this May, i began to contact my friends and told them what happened to me. They forgave me and we are good friends now.
I want to be your friends.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:15 am
Depression has a way of making you hide away from the world and those around you.
I am really pleased you have come out of this a stronger person and no doubt those friends you take about will realise that too!
You are very lucky to have people you call true friends, I on the other hand don’t think my friends would have much interest in hearing what I am going through.
Sometimes it takes a moment of sanity to really understand who your real friends are.
June 6th, 2008 at 5:22 am
I think that it is necessary for anyone who has depression and anxiety to understand the basic principium of this disease, of course, as a non-doctor, no need to know too much. As far as i am concerned, basic understanding of the disease with let you know what you really need to do.
For me, after the cure in a psychology healthy center, i begin to express my past painful experience to my friends when it is possible. And i think that it is a good way to release my pressure. On the other hand, when i am in trouble, i always say it to my friends or myself, i would not let myself stay in the depression state for a long time.
June 6th, 2008 at 5:33 am
Everyone has to find their own way of dealing with depression and each person will find one way better than another.
But you are using a form of “Positive Affirmation” whenever you feel your depression hits you deal with it by telling yourself you won’t let it take over.
This is a classic form of cognitive therapy and I find this helps me alot too!
However as I don’t have many true friends I trust at this moment in time, what I tend to do is write down my thoughts and feelings and let them out this way.
June 10th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I too often hide behind my shadow, my shadow of depression as I express in a poem I wrote. We all have to fight one way or another, and you are doing a great job of it. I wish I too could deal with it better, but when it takes ahold, i find it hard to fight back…I write alot about my depression, and I find it helps some..take care..Mary
June 11th, 2008 at 2:34 am
I know what you mean Mary, I think if I wasn’t able to tell my story or talk to someone I think I would go mad.