Depression Blog

I constantly feel like I am on my own. Anyone can say “I will be there for you” but you find when you need those people most they are no where to be seen.

Understandably you realise who your real friends are in situations like this, but when it comes to family and partners you kind of expect more from them or at least I did. If you don’t have people helping around you then how can you get better?

Not just now, but all the time I wish I had someone to turn to without having to feel guilty that you have called upon them. I just want someone to listen to me instead of just hearing what they want to and turning the conversation into how it resembles their problems.

Some day I am certain someone will understand and maybe we can be there for each other as support partners because no one has the time for me right now.

I’m not sure what it is I seek in my life – all I do know is that I’m constantly searching for something to make me feel content.

Maybe it is that not everyone feels contentment in their life at any point, but I feel this is something I need to have.

It’s like I know I’m missing something but I just can’t put my finger on what?

All I do know for sure is I am never going to feel complete without it.

How will I ever know what this is though?

As scary as it may sound I really do fear not finding this something, because my life seems almost pointless without it.

There are so many people who just float about life without a care in the world and I cant help but resent that, as everyday is a struggle just to raise my head.

To see me I would only assume you wouldn’t notice anything different, there aren’t any tell tail signs I’m suffering beneath the pretence anyone who suffers puts on.

I want to make a difference and make people aware of what depression can do to a person and the way they live their lives, but in order to do that I must accept the struggles I face in even my day to day life.

Truly I do believe there is only one person who can save me from myself and that is me, but if only logic worked on depression I could set myself free.

Preparing for Christmas used to bring me down but even when in just relaxing Thomas brings light to my thoughts, I can’t wrap present ’s around him cos he just chases the paper and chews everything in sight.

He has made this time of year enjoyable and always finds a way to distract me when im feeling down.

When ever me and my dad go out to the shop’s we always take Thomas in my dad’s pocket inside of his coat, he likes to sleep there close to my dad’s chest as the heat keeps him warm.

Everyone who sees him just want to stroke him and people say “he’s so cute”. And he is the cutest thing I’ve ever scene.

I can’t get mad at him when he’s mischievous as he always manages to make me laugh and smile.

Thomas has been a rock for me and I will always love him as a part of my family and nothing will ever change that.