Depression Blog

There are many key things anyone can do to beat the blues, weather it be connected to SAD, depression or just generally having a bad day.

Keeping fit is a brilliant way to release endorphins which is key to producing analgesia which in turn promotes a sense of well being.

I am always more up beat and confident in myself after I have done a Pilate’s class.

The reason I mention Pilate’s is because it is a great work out for both men and woman of all ages and also doesn’t discriminate against disabilities.

Even if you don’t quite feel ready to face the world there are great Pilate’s dvds for beginners right the way through to the advanced techniques.

So why not take the time to exercise, it has been proven for mind body and soul.

Like most people I do love the summer more than any other time of year.

Everything seems new and so much brighter like a fresh start has begun.

The weather affects us all in different ways but does the sun shine really have the power to change a persons thought process and make them genuinely more positive?

Because if this is the case then we must have the power mentally to change our thought process too without any aids to do so.

What do our animals mean to us?

I have a lovely dog Thomas and two very curious but loving cats called Sukie and Charlie.

Thomas has helped me a lot through my depression and helped keep me occupied too, Sukie sleeps with me at night and Charlie sleeps under my dad’s bed.

My animals mean a lot more to me than a lot of the people in my life and around me.

It’s hard to explain but I have always valued animals lives over humans due to their naivety and inability to defend themselves against the destruction we cause.

A dog would wait eagerly by the door for it’s owner to come home from work, then the owner would beat the animal regularly each night.

Without fail you will find that Dog would still be a loyal animal and have no understanding of why it’s master does this.

Animals need to be protected, protected against us.

I have a check list to enable me to be more positive and less negative towards my own thoughts and feelings, which will in turn make me a better person to others.

Be happy for everyone and anyone

Do not be envious

Do not judge

Be optimistic

Help others by supporting them

Do not recent others for their achievements

Be more positive and open minded

Do not find your self analysing others or yourself unless it is in a productive way

Take a moment to love yourself

Take a life time to reflect on everything you have done and all you have achieved

With following this process I do believe I will become a better person and someone people will come to when they need a friend.

When I first approached my dad asking for his support in my illness I have to be honest and say he was less than able to give me what I needed from my family unit.

A very good man with high morals, a very proud person yet he was unable to comprehend what it was I was asking of him.

The more I have searched information and listened to other people I have become to realise this really is quite normal.

How could you possibly help support anybody in any situation when you are not aware what it is they require from you, it isn’t as simple as lending someone money or supporting them in a more obvious way.

Over time I have become more and more aware that if my dad doesn’t have the information on my illness and the knowledge of what I will need from him to support me, then I wasn’t going to get it.

Awareness of Depression and Anxiety is higher now than when I was first diagnosed but I am more than aware that the information for people supporting someone with this illness isn’t always readily available.

Searching online and speaking to my councillor made me realise it wasn’t my fathers fault he wasn’t really supporting me it was that he needed to know what it was I require from him.

I find my dad is a lot better with me now although he still struggles himself sometimes but anyone would as this illness takes it’s toll on everyone involved.

But my life is made that bit easier every time I sit down with my dad and chat about how I am feeling and just take the time to just enjoy the interaction too, otherwise I could quite easily shut myself away sometimes.

Remembering back even to my childhood I don’t think I have ever really been a bad person.

I have made mistakes and some regrets like anyone else, but I would never change my life or the person I am today.

It is easy to have those feelings that you are terrible or hate yourself even, I have been there so many times I don’t care to remember.

Finding you are not such a bad person and in actual fact are only human, could be a massive learning curve for anyone.

We all will hurt someone, and we all will lie about something at some point but learning from these mistakes is what makes us unique.

For as long as I can remember there has always been just me and my dad.

And unlike some people, I just feel like I never want to leave him because I am all he has.

We have been through everything together, losing my mum, my first step, my first word and my first love right the way through my depression to where I am today.

He has seen me grow into the young woman I am and although he often tells me what I do wrong I can see in his eyes he still dotes on me.

The affection and love is hard for my dad to express particularly as I have got older but it doesn’t mean he loves me any less.

There would never be anyone who could replace my dad, nor would I ever want there to be.

When I have been in my darkest hours he has been there to guide me through and has held my hand when I have needed to walk that step behind.

Because of the person my dad is to me, I will always hold him close to my heart and carry him with me where ever the road shall take me.

We all need someone to help us through and to guide the way; someone to whom we can look up to and relate.

I have been fortunate enough in my life to have been loved and to have loved.

But does anyone really know when it is the right time to give up on the love and move on?

To be loved by someone comes the ability to hurt them, and although you may never want to hurt that person isn’t it inevitable you will at some point.

And with this knowledge would it not be a happier life to never let yourself fall in-love?

I have been in relationships in the past that have brought me to tears on many occasions and I have asked myself is this really how you want to be?

Is it possible any one person can make you stronger without weakening you at the same time.

My demon’s take over my life and I have a constant fight on my hands with them alone, so is it really fair to bring someone else into my struggle?

Today I was officially declared bankrupt!

This took me so long to do, as I constantly thought this was a cowards way out.

After years of trying to pay off my debts and struggling, I ended up falling ill with depression again which I am sure was due to the stress of it all!

One of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make in my life but I am certain it will be my best yet.

Today I found myself in a pet shop in the town centre, their was one puppy stood alone in this tiny little cage with no brothers or sisters to keep him company.

My curiosity got the better of me and I decided to ask if I could hold the puppy, of course the shop assistant was keen to sell the last puppy so she unlocked the cage and passed the puppy into my arms.

When I held him his little eyes looked up into mine and he snuggled his head under my arm, he was so tiny and fragile and all I could do was nurse him in my arms.

For the first time in a long while I felt needed and warm inside and I couldn’t let him go so asked the shop assistant if I could take him.

An hour later I came to collect him with a cardigan to wrap him in for the taxi journey home. I now feel I have someone to share my darkest hours with and bring joy to my life whilst raising a puppy of my own.

I named my puppy Thomas and he reminds me so much of Bambi the way he bounces around whilst being unsteady on his feet.

My light at the end of the tunnel.