Depression Blog

Recently me and my partner have taken up spinning classes, we both really enjoy them and it gives me a buzz.

I was a gymnast for a long time, that was before I started working longer hours and having other commitments. It is important to me to keep my body toned, I’ve always been petite but I find it hard to get real firmness.

Motivation comes in bouts with me; I find it really hard to get myself in the right frame of mind for sport. Without a gym partner I think I would just not bother to go.

Its silly really because once I get there I really enjoy it.

After some thought I have realised, this is yet another area of my life in which I feel the need to depend on someone else. It is easy to rely on others for many things and that why I do it, because I can.

This is something I have to address along with the other fifty things on my list.

Learning to be my own person and enjoy my independence will be a big step in the right direction. I hate feeling lost without company, especially as I used to love being by myself because it gave me focus and contentment.

Of course I would never advise anyone to hide their depression from everyone around them. It is very important you do have someone you can talk to about this, and someone there to support you.

Being diagnosed with depression can be a trying time for anyone, there will be some people who you won’t want to confide in.

It can be very difficult to hide your depression depending on the severity or your condition and the symptoms you display. Don’t be alarmed by this and think everyone will know your depressed, this isn’t the case.

Here listed are a few helpful tips I learned along the way:

• Avoid being in uncomfortable situations, if you find you need to ‘get out’ just make your excuses and do so.

• Duvet days are always the hardest to disguise but I found that crying ill was a great way to hide my depression, we all feel terrible when we are ill.

• Crying a lot was something I struggled with at first, a lot of the time I put it down to stress at work or PMT even the occasional boy troubles. They all worked a treat.

• Hiding away from the world can be a lot harder, you need to remember that we all have bad times and it isn’t abnormal to want to spend some time alone. If however this explanation isn’t suffice then a shortage of money could be another route to take, although you could leave yourself wide open to the old faithful “I will lend you some”.

The best thing you could do for you today: Anticipate what your explanation will be should the situation ever arise where you need one. Be strong and be true to yourself as the one person you cannot hide from is you.

When relationships end it is a sad time for everyone, sometimes we make it harder on ourselves when we refuse to let go. I know I find it that much harder to to cope with all matters of the heart since my depression.

We all know it is difficult to loose someone we love, this is why most people suffering from depression stay in unhappy relationships. The fear makes you unable to comprehend being alone especially when you have grown to depend on that person.

Being needy and feeling completely out of control is so hard to deal with and that’s without the worry of the one person you love no longer being there.

Are you that person stuck in a relationship and you know it isn’t going to work? There is nothing more self destructive than what you could be doing to yourself right now by just holding on.

Depression is hard enough without added stress, if you are unhappy and you know things aren’t going to change then make the decision that is best for you.

Put yourself first and take care of the person you are, don’t let unhappiness drag you down into a dark pit where you see no way out.

You can survive this and you will.

My own experiences have brought me to the conclusion that things do get better, just find the time for yourself and be sure it is all about you. You can be selfish and put your self first, make that new start you need and learn to love yourself above all.

Stated below are the 4 steps I use daily to help combat my anxiety and panic; One of the most important tips I could give anyone with this is perseverance and determination.

1. Don’t be afraid of saying no - Do only what you want to do and not what is expected of you or wanted by others.

2. Stop fearing what may happen - Don’t let the thought of what could happen rule your day and take over.

3. Don’t feed your negative thoughts - Stop allowing yourself to build scenario’s in your head about everything negative that springs to mind.

4. Recite positive affirmations - Tell yourself how great you are and recite all the positive things about you.

Please don’t think this is a quick fix however if you discipline yourself and follow these steps daily you will find you ultimately gain control of your anxiety therefore combating your panic attacks.

We all need to worry less about other people and more about ourselves. If we can stop worrying about letting people down or making them feel bad through our own negativity, our lives would be easier.

It is hard to not think something is wrong or even expect the worse scenario. Just be kind to yourself and let it ride.

If you choose not to do this then it is inevitable that what you fear will happen. Sometimes the most destructive things to us are those we create.

There are some important steps I follow to help me fight my anxiety and panic attacks,  with each day that goes by I feel that much more in control.

1. Stop expecting the worse - You are more than capable of not letting your negative thoughts rule your mind, be kind to yourself and stop willing the bad things to happen.

2. Don’t sweat the small stuff - When you find yourself worrying take a step back and ask yourself the question; Is this really so important or am I just blowing out of all proportion?

3. Exercise breathing techniques - Take the time to listen to your own breathing and focus on the calming this brings.

4. When you feel anxious remove yourself from the situation - Don’t avoid contact with people. Be safe in the knowledge if you need to remove yourself from the situation you can do this.

Here are 10 steps I follow on a daily basis to help control my depression and negativity.

1. Make time for you

2. Be Selfish

3. Don’t feel guilty

4. Stop fearing what may happen

5. Get out and be more active

6. Know your own mind

7. Stop feeling sorry for yourself

8. Give yourself routine

9. Don’t feed your negative thoughts

10. Believe in yourself and what you can achieve

I have been following these steps now for nearly 2 months and I can already feel the difference, you do have to motivate yourself daily but perseverance is the key to success.

When I am having what I would call a good day I still find it hard to focus.

Depression is the one thing I find it hard to take my mind off, Its a constant struggle for anyone to hold my concentration for any period of time.

Although keeping busy is a good way of fighting these thoughts it isnt the best way for me to switch off.

For years I have wanted to be able to have a proper conversation with people around me without loosing all interest and my mind wandering.

I used to get to the point where I would just look around the room or at anything but the person who was talking to me and occasionally I would find an excuse to walk away.

This is quite self destructive and I often found myself being referred to as rude which in turn made me isolate myself from the world.

Now I make that extra effort to hold conversations and not find I want or need a way out.

You see, it was all about my personal space; Id get to a point where I would feel invaded and need to get some space and room to breath.

When I know I am going into a situation where I will maybe have a conversation with someone I always without fail take a couple of big breaths before entering the environment.

Not only does this give me time to slow the sheer panic that takes over my body but it gives me time to adjust.

Depression often causes people to stand alone in one way or another and shelter themselves from those around them.

This is what I call the period of isolation and most sufferers have been through this at one point or another.

It is hard when you feel you want to hide from the world especially when you are mainly hiding from those you care about most.

I have spent days under my duvet just wishing the hours away, hoping this feeling would pass or that the struggle would end.

Whilst in this terrible place the only things I had any time for were my cat and dog, they used to come and see me and snuggle with me in bed.

This was the only love I ever felt in my darkness and the only thing that helped me step back out into the light.

These feelings can pass though, with a little determination and a lot of patience we can all get through this.

My saviours were my animals because we all need someone to live on for, who do you live for?

We can all find it hard to do those things we want to but finding the fear and challenging it could be the first step.

I choose not to do certain things because I am scared of either failing or beating my fear.

Panic attacks are a big thing for me and I know I have power over them to an extent however if I put myself in to a situation where I feel less then comfortable, then I am quite aware I may trigger the over whelming panic.

Fear is what drives me a lot of the time and I can’t help but feel like I’m trapped by it.

When I feel at my worse but I know I am going to push myself I take myself to somewhere I feel safe in my mind and I project all the negative thoughts into pictures.

Once enabling myself to do this I then picture them in frames and focus on them in black and white.

You can then reduce the size of the image in your mind and remove it slowly out of focus and eventually out of sight.

This is a very good way of minimising your stress levels and removing the thought from your mind.

I practise this on a daily basis to get the best results and within time you will feel the difference it makes too.